Nobody Special

[Destiny062]

Chapter 38.

a couple of hours later, between us Sara and i had sent texts to everyone to let them know to meet us at 8:30pm at Giovanni's (Sara had finally managed to remember the name of the place), and under no circumstances to be late. that i had something to tell them.

Sara and i had gotten there early, so we could secure a table for the eight of us. we had booked it under my name, which felt kinda weird, but good weird. a few minutes later Catherine, Lindsey, Jim and Grissom came in, and after spending a few seconds looking for us walked over.

"hey guys, glad you could make it." i said honestly

"hey, we're happy to be here. why are we here?" Catherine asked.
"erm if you don't mind do you mind waiting until Nick and Greg get here, i want to tell you guys all togther. but feel free to get yourself a drink from the bar while we wait."

"great. can i have a double vodka and coke then?" Lindsey asked cheekily

"sure, only minus the double vodka." Catheirne answered

"fine. it was worth a shot right?" Lindsey asked looking at Catherine and then me.

"don't worry about it Linds, i can't drink either." i say smiling

"ok so what do you guys want?" Catherine asked

"beer for me" Jim said

"yeah me too" Grissom agreed

"ok, so how does this work, have we got a tab set up, or are we all paying for ourselves?" Catherine asked

"just put everything on the tab, we'll sort it all out at the end. the tab's under Brooke Tyler" i informed her

"ok. i'll be right back." Catherine said leaving the table and heading in the direction of the bar.

a couple of minutes later, she came back carrying the drinks.

"hey look who i found!" Catherine said

"hey Nick, hey Greg. glad you could come. you want anything?" i asked

"it's ok. Catherine already got us one. something about a tab?" Nick said

"yeah. everything is going on a tab. just makes it easier and we can sort it all our at the end." Sara explained

"ok so what's up?" Greg asked

"well,..... why don't we order first and then we can talk whilst we're waiting." i said

after a while the waiter came over and took our orders and our menus so that the table was clear when our meals came out.

"Brooke, Sara what's going on?"

"i have something to tell you" i said "erm ok.... well you know how when you guys were round at Sara's place for movies and pizza and the doorbell rang?"

"yeah, you went to answer it, and you came back with an envelope for Sara. guy names James Fletcher bought it round or something." Nick said

"yeah well, what i didn't know was that James Fletcher is an attorney. he was John and Rebecca's attorney. when i answered the door he didn't know who i was, but then he realised when we met him today."

"oh. hey wasn't today that meeting with your parents?" Greg asked

"my adoptive parents yeah. anyway so we went in, and we sat down, and i might have lost my temper a little bit at the beginning. but Sara calmed me down, and reminded me why we were there."

"so why were you there?" Lindsey asked

"Lindsey!" Catherine said forcibly

"no it's ok. we went there because they had asked to see me. and i guess i wanted Sara there for moral support or something. anyway, so they told me they didn't understand why they had been given an emancipation order that i had already signed."

"you wanted an emancipation from your parents? sorry adoptive parents?" Grissom said

"yeah. i mean i knew that as long as they were still legally my parents they would never let me go. and this way i thought that i could move on with my life properly. so we went to see them at their attorney's office. i was calling them John and Rebecca, which they couldn't understand either, as they said they were my mom and dad, and thought that maybe the accident had caused me to not recognise them as my parents or something. so that got me a little mad. so anyway we had this long talk. or rather i talked and they semi-listened. i think i stunned them when i told them that i knew the truth-that i had been adopted by them as a baby, and that i knew they had had an elder daughter who died when we both got sick as toddlers. i told them everything i had been burying for years, about how i felt, how they treated me, everything. Rebecca kept denying it, but John eventually accepted it, and wanted to know how i had found out." i explained

"and how did you find out?" Greg asked

"my Grams told me. when i was in hospital and during the time i was unconscious i saw my Grams, and she let slip that i had had an elder sister, and that i had been adopted by my sister's parents when i was a baby. she tried to cover it up, but it was too late, i already knew the truth. and in that moment a lot of things suddenly began to make a ot of sense. anyway so once i confronted them, John eventually realised that i was right, they hadn't been treating me like a daughter, and that they needed to let me go, and sign the emancipation order. Rebecca was less willing, but John talked to her, and they both signed it. they both cried, they actually cried. not once for they there for me growing up, but at the moment i stood up to them and asked them to do something for me, they cried."

"wow. so what they didn't fight you on it or anything? what did they say when they found out you were living with Sara?" Jim asked

"no. i think they realised that this was something i wanted. and yeah when they found out i was living at Sara's and was out of the hospital they were a bit shocked, and said some things, which kinda made me really mad." i explained

"you should have seen her in there guys, she was incredible. she lost it a bit at the beginning, but she did it. as she spoke more and told them everything she had been bottling up she grew more confidant in herself. you would have been proud of her, just like i am." Sara said smiling at me

"thanks Sara. that means a lot to me." i said smiling back.

Lindsey looked up "err guys, hate to interrupt, but it looks like the food's here."

"finally" Greg muttered. after seeing the looks on our faces he said "what, i'm starving" at which we all laughed.


after we had finished our meals, the empty plates were taken away, and the desert menus were given to us.

"would anyone like another drink?" the waiter asked

"yeah, same again please all round, so what that's five beers, two cokes and one white wine spritzer. thank you" i said

"you're welcome, i'll bring them right over" the waiter said and walked away

about an hour later the table had been cleared, but we were all still chatting away.

Sara said "okay guys, Brooke's got some other news for you."

"what? you're not leaving are you?" Lindsey asked

"well i've decided i'm gonna go back to school, get a degree or something."

"oh my God Brooke that's great" Catherine said

"any idea on what you wanna do?" Grissom asked

"i've got a couple of ideas, nothing absolute yet. i'm still looking at my options" i told them

"cool. so you're staying here then?" Lindsey said

"i don't know yet. i mean i love Vegas i do. but it depends what i want to do and where i can do it. but if i end up going away, i promise to come back often and visit and keep in touch while i'm away. i mean you guys are my family now, this is home" i said

and i realised that as i said it, i really meant it. this was home now, and these people were and are my family. nothing would change that. strange how things turn out isn't it....

these people had made me visible and with their help and with the help of Sara i was no longer invisible, i would no longer be taken for granted


...

thanks for all your reviews so far, hope you are still liking the story, more will be up soon

[Destiny062]

Chapter 39.

at least i hoped they knew that. i was a better person now because of them. they gave me the strength to face up to John and Rebecca, the people who i thought were my parents. they believed in me and enouraged me. they made me believe that i could do anything i wanted, be whomever i wanted to be.

they welcomed me into their family, and Sara welcomed me into her home. her home that she said was now my home for however long i wanted it to be. this was what i wanted my entire life, but what i had never had. i had dealt with my past, and John and Rebecca had finally let me go. i had my own life, and wasn't afraid to let people in beyond the walls around my heart. i trusted people now. i wasn't scared or constantly looking over my shoulder for John and Rebecca to drag me to the house i had lived in.

i was free. free to do whatever i wanted. free to go wherever i wanted. free to be whomever i wanted to be. and this feeling of being free, it felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders, as if my heart had broken free and escaped from the prison that it had been kept in. and it was a great feeling....

after we left the restaurant and had paid the bill, leaving a tip we left and got a cab and went back to Catherine's place, to continue the celebrations. you'd think it was someone's birthday, not just me getting emancipated from John and Rebecca, but i wasn't complaining. before Vegas, it had been a long time since i had gone to a party, let alone had one thrown for me. when i was growing up my birthday had no cause for celebration, it was just another day of the week, and i was just another year older. the same thing happened every year, nothing special happened, there was nothing to celebrate.

something told me that that was going to change now. if this was what happened when we were celebrating something that wasn't that special, i could only imagine what happened when they were celebrating a birthday or another special occasion, and i couldn't wait to find out.

i had never been to Catherine's house, but i immediately could see why they all liked coming here. it looked so homely and welcoming, it was a wonder why people would leave in the first place. there were pictures out on display everywhere. there were ones of Lindsey and Catherine, Lindsey on her own, and a couple of the team. there was one of Catherine standing next to another guy, with chocolate brown eyes and skin, and both of their faces were lit up smiling at each other. from the angle and the way they were smiling and looking at each other, i don't think either of them knew that their picture had been taken.

Catherine caught me looking at all the photos and walked over to me. i turned and saw her there, and asked "who's this?"

a sad smile came over her face as she said "that's Warrick. he used to work with us, he was a great CSI and an even better friend. he was murdered a year and a half ago. wow, i can't believe it's been that long, seems like yesterday when i went to the scene and saw his body there." a tear was falling down her face as she spoke about that night.

"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to upset you. i just wanted to know who he was, i'd never met him." i apologised

"no it's ok. it's good to talk about him. we were all just so shocked when it happened, and then we immediately tried to find who was responsible and then we found out he had a son, and then there was his funeral. and then we all had to get on with our lives. we all still miss him, i know we do, we just don't like talking about it." Catherine replied

"you loved him didn't you." i said

"yeah, we all did. he was part of our family."

"no i mean, you really loved him didn't you. he was more than a friend to you." i whispered

"how did you know? and yeah we flirted back and forth for years, and then he got married, and then divorced, and then he got shot."

"you never knew if he felt the same way. and you never told him how you felt. you were scared." seeing the look on her face i said quickly "i'm sorry. it's none of my business. just forget i said anything."

"no Brooke, it's ok. you're right. neither of us said anything and now it's too late. and he's not coming back, no matter how much we all want him to." Catherine whispered back.

putting the photo back she said "anyway enough of the tears from me, why don't we find the others and do some more celebrating. this is your night Brooke Tyler. so what do you want to do now?"

"are you sure? and i don't know. listen i know this might be hard for all of you, but would you mind telling me more about him? i mean he was a part of your family right, which means he was a part of my family. and he doesn't stop being just because he is't here anymore. i'd like to know what he was like. but if it's too hard for you guys i get it, and....it is i'll just shut up now." i finished seeing the look on her face.

i walked away, giving Catherine a few minutes alone to compose herself.

"hey there you are, did you get lost?" Sara said smiling when i entered the back garden.

"no, i was just looking at some photos." i said guiltily.

"where's Catherine?" Grissom asked

"she'll be out in a minute. i just passed her, she's just making drinks for everyone or something." i said trying not to let my face tell the truth.

"oh ok." they all said in unison.

"so what were you guys talking about?" i asked

"not much really. i was giving them some ideas on what to get me for my birthday. i've already told my mom a couple of things" said Lindsey

"yes and i don't know why because your birthday isn't for another couple of months!" Catherine said

"mom! you scared me" Lindsey said

"sorry hun."

"yeah, but this way i'm giving you all plenty of warning, so you've got lots of time to get it. i know how busy you guys get, and this way i'm more likely not to get the same present multiple times." Lindsey said looking at Grissom and Nick

"oh come on Linds, that happened once on your eighth birthday. when are you gonna let it go?" Nick said

"why what happened?" i asked

"well it was my eighth birthday, and i decided i didn't want a party, i just wanted to spend the day with my mom. anyway the guys each got me a birthday present, and Nick and Grissom had both ended up getting me this chemistry set. i mean, i didn't even need one, but then i got two!" Lindsey said

we all laughed at that, even Grissom and Nick.

"so what do you want for your birthday Linds?" i asked

"oh Brooke, you don't have to get me anything."

"i know, but i want to. so what do you want?" i asked again

"Sara's got the list. you can pick anything off of there if you insist on getting me a present." Lindsey said smiling

"Catherine are you ok?" Jim asked, his voice full of concern

"yeah i'm fine. my baby's just growing up too fast that's all. it just seems like yesterday she was taking her first steps and saying her first words, and in a couple of months she's gonne be eighteen. God i'm old." Catherine cried

"oh mom, you're not old. and i can't believe i'm actually going to say this but you know i'll always be your baby right? ok so i'm a lot older and bigger now, but i'm always gonna need you. you're not just my mom, you're my best friend too." Lindsey said getting up to give her mom a hug.

"thanks sweetie. that makes me feel a little better" Catherine smiled giving her daughter a hug. "listen i know none of you probalby want to have this conversation, but Brooke found an picture of me and Warrick, and wanted to know who he was. so i told her, and..."


...............................................................................

hope you guys liked it. more will be posted soon

[Billyjorja]

Wow 3 chapters this time.  Just going to make a cup of coffee so I can read all three chapters in one sitting.
Keep them coming.

[Destiny062]

heya just wanted to say that i'm really sorry i haven't updated this story in a while. have been meaning to but have been working quite a bit, and then went back to uni so haven't been able to unfortunately. 

however i will update soon. there just aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, lol. 

[Destiny062]

hey guys, again i want to apologize to you for taking so long to update this story. i will try not to let it get that long before i update ever again, but work and uni kinda got in the way. and by the time i got home from work it was always late, and i was knackered, lol.

anyway, here's the next chapter, hope you like it......

previously.......
"oh mom, you're not old. and i can't believe i'm going to say this but you know i'm always gonna be your baby right? ok so i'm a lot older and bigger now, but i'm always gonna need you. you're not just my mom, you're my best friend too." Lindsey said getting up to give her mom a hug.

"thanks sweetie. that makes me feel a little better." Catherine smiled giving her daughter a hug. "listen i know none of you probably want to have this conversation, but Brooke found an old picture of me and Warrick, and wanted to know who he was. so i told her, and ......"

Chapter 40.

"you don't have to tell me anything about him guys, honest. he was a part of your family, and you all loved him. i don't need to know anything about him now. i can see by the looks on all your faces that this is still way too painful to talk about so just forget it ok. i want to know about Warrick, and what he was like, i really do, but not at the expense of opening up those wounds and hurting you guys." i said interrupting.

without another word, i left them in the garden just looking at each other. i knew i had made a mistake the first time i had opened my mouth and asked Catherine who he was. i had hurt her, and i wasn't about to hurt anyone else, even though they were my family now. i went back to the photo of Warrick and Catherine that i had picked up earlier and just stared at it.

he'd always be a part of their family, even though he had been taken from them, and i realised that there was no way i would be able to replace him in their hearts, nor did i want to. placing the picture back in its place i walked out of the house. they all needed to be alone right now, they didn't need me there, so i left. i opened and closed the door as quietly as i could and walked away. it was the hardest thing not to just walk back there, and enjoy the rest of the evening, our evening together with them, but i knew i had to. they probably wouldn't be able to have a good time now anyway, and not look like they were forcing smiles if i had stayed. i had hurt them already just by mentioning Warrick's name, and wanting to know about him. who knows how much i would have hurt them, if i had got them talking about him.

i just continued walking, i had no idea where i was going, or which direction i was walking in. i kept my head down, and concentrated on walking. that's all i could think about right now, because i knew that if Warrick popped into my head that i would end up running back there. damn! ok i need to stop thinking about Warrick, stop thinking about Warrick. think about something else, like..... what i'm gonna do now. yeah that'll do. what am i gonna do now?

i think i was warming to the whole going back to school thing, but there was a part of me that was being more logical, and said that i needed to get a job. you need money to go to college, it's expensive which is why i hadn't gone before. John and Rebecca hadn't allowed it. ok i need to stop thinking about John and Rebecca as well. that'll only get me down and end up in me rushing back to Sara, which i can't do. i need to start getting myself through things, and not rely on other people to pick me up when i'm down. ok, so school....

i knew where i was going now. i needed to get home. i needed to get on the internet and start researching courses and different colleges and all my options. maybe i could work for a bit, earn myself some money instead of relying on other people all the time. Sara wouldn't lend me money indefinitely and i wouldn't want her too, i already knew i had to pay her back the money i owed her, and i was nowhere close to doing that right now.

now that i knew where i was going, and what i needed to do my legs seemed to take on a mind of their own, and started walking faster. before i knew it i was there, i was home. i let myself in, locked the door behind me, and switched on my new laptop something else i was going to have to pay Sara back for

after i had researched all kinds of courses and colleges i printed them off, and went and picked up the paper and started looking for job vacancies. i wasn't bothered what i did, i just needed a job that paid, and i would be happy doing anything, as long as it was earning money. i needed to pay Sara back.....

about a half hour later, i hear the front door unlocking, and i knew that Sara must be home. a few seconds later i heard her shouting my name over and over again waiting for a response. after a few minutes i walked out of my bedroom, well what i had come to call my bedroom, and found her sitting on the couch.

"hey." i said

turning her head round, and seeing me there, Sara immediately got up and gave me a big hug.

"oh thank God" Sara sighed

"listen Sara, i'm really sorry about before, and what happened at Catherine's place. i wanna know about Warrick, i really do, but like i said, i don't wanna hurt you guys. you are my family now, and i don't wanna cause you pain just because i want to know who Warrick was, and know more about him. he was obviously a big part of your family, and i know that in your hearts he can never be replaced, and i know i definitely can't replace him, nor would i want to. but like i said to Catherine, just because he isnt here anymore, it doesn't mean that he stops being part of your family. he will always be a part of it, that will never stop. i guess i just wanted to apologize for bringing up all that pain again. it's why i left, i couldn't stay there and talk to you guys without seeing the looks on all your faces, that i put there just by saying his name. i couldn't stand the thought that i had inflicted that pain upon you, or rather brought it all up again." i explained.

Sara smiled.

"what?" i asked

"nothing" Sara said simply still smiling

"no Sara, really what?" i asked again

"i just can't believe it. i mean i knew you'd get there, but to be honest i didn't think it would be this soon. i mean it was only this morning that you got emancipated from John and Rebecca, and now look at you. you're a completely different person."

"what do you mean? i'm still me, i'm still the girl you met all those months ago."

"no you're not Brooke. you've changed, and for the better. you're not scared anymore, you trust people, you've let people into your heart and your life. and you just said the right thing to me. you didn't run away when you thought you'd hurt us, you came home and you stayed. you've changed Brooke. you've become the girl i always thought you could be when i first met you all those months ago. why do you think i kept pushing you to open up to me? i saw who you could be, and i knew if i got you to open up, you would become that person. the person who you are today. and that's why i'm smiling Brooke. you've dealt with your past, and you've stopped running away, and i am so proud of you."

i smiled back. i knew what she said was true. i had changed and i hadn't even realised it.

"i'm sorry Sara. i never meant to hurt any of you." i said

"i know." Sara sighed, giving me a hug "and you didn't. you actually helped us."

"what do you mean?" i asked confused

"well after you left, we all got to talking, about Warrick and how we all felt about his death, and how we had been coping after everything. it actually helped talking about him. we hadn't talked about him or really mentioned his name since the funeral, as we thought, like you, that it would hurt too much. but it didn't, it actually helped us. so i guess what i'm trying to say is ....... thank you. and if you still want to know about Warrick, we'll tell you all about him, but maybe you could make us some of your famous pancakes to go along with it?"

"really? i'd like that. and of course i'll make you guys pancakes. i'll just have to make some more, but there isn't enough stuff here. so when you guys are ready to tell me about Warrick, i'll go to the store and get the things i need. erm, i couldn't borrow some money could i? i promise i will pay you back the second i get a job and a paycheck." i asked carefully

"yeah of course you can. and you don't have to pay me back Brooke. listen it's been a long night, so why don't we get some sleep, and maybe we can ask the guys when they want to come over in a couple of days ok?"

"ok. night Sara." i said giving her one last hug.

"night Brooke," she replied hugging me back


...

hope you like it. will update again soon

[Destiny062]

Chapter 41.

everything was turning out great, well at least getting better. Lindsey and i were quickly becoming really good friends. we could talk to each other for hours, about anything and everything. we would actually get told off for talking too much. it was nice having friends i could actually talk to, and a real family that actually cared about me. it took some getting used to but i was getting there. i was leaving my past behind and becoming the person Sara saw all those months ago.

we'd talked about Warrick as well. i'd made the guys the pancakes i promised them, and they told me all kinds of stories about Warrick, and what he was like. i wish i could have met him. something tells me we would have got on really well. i could tell that it wasn't easy for them to talk about him, but it did seem to help them, just like Sara had already told me. it was weird, even though i had never met Warrick, i felt like i had, and that i had known him for years simply due to all the stories they were telling me, and the pictures that they all had of him during their time with him. it was nice. it really felt as if he was there with us in that room. bet that sounds really weird....

it's funny you know, how quickly i became used to calling Sara's place home, and not just Sara's place, or a place that i was crashing at for a while. i knew that i would have to get a place of my own sooner rather than later. Sara needed her privacy, and although she never said anything, and i knew that she never would, as in her mind it was no longer her home, but our home, i couldn't stay there forever. i would have to stand on my own two feet eventually.


a few weeks later, Sara was working, and it was my day off from work (i had managed to get a little job in a local club behind the bar) and so i was doing a bit more research on colleges and courses i thought would be interesting, when the post came through the door. i got up, and went to get it. most of it was for Sara, and there were a couple of prospectuses that i had sent off for. but at the bottom of the pile there was a big white envelope addressed to me, and when i saw who it was from, it really shocked me, and i dropped to the floor.......

a few minutes later i came round, still clutching the envelope in my hand. i guess i thought it was finally over, that they had agreed to let me go. they had signed the emancipation order, and had agreed that any further contact between us would be on my terms, and in my own time, if i ever wanted to get in contact again. it had only been a few weeks, and i had no intention of getting in contact with them, at least not now anyway. and the naive idiot that i am, i thought that they had actaully listened and had decided to do something for me for once in my life. obviously i was wrong.

i knew i couldn't stare at it all day, and i guess a part of me really wanted to know what was in there, so i opened it, only to receive a bit of a shock as well. as i had already figured out, it was from John and Rebecca. even though they wanted to meet me, and explain something to me in person, they knew that i wouldn't, and so they sent it to me instead, and to be honest it wasn't what i was expecting.............


...

i know it's short, but i will post next chapter soon

 

[Billyjorja]

Worth the wait thanks.

[Destiny062]

previously......
i knew i couldn't stare at it all day, amd i guess a part of me really wanted to know what was in there, so i opened it, only to recieve a bit of a shock as well. as i had already figured out, it was from John and Rebecca. even though they wanted to meet me (agaiin), and explain something to me in person, they knew that i wouldn't, and so they sent it to me instead. and to be honest it wasn't what i was expecting......

Chapter 42.

inside there was a smaller envelope with my name on. i turned it over and opened it.

Dear Brooke,

i know you probably won't believe us when we say this but we do love you. i know you think that we don't, and after talking to you in our attorney's office and listening to you, we understand why. but you have to know this one thing, you are our daughter and we love you. we will give you your space like we promised, and maybe some day you'll come back to us.

from what we've seen of you, you seem so much happier now, and you're a completely different girl to the one that lived with us for the past eighteen years. you have to know that we are both so sorry for the way we treated you growing up. you were right before. i think a part of us did resent you somewhat for the death of our other daughter. we never got over her death, and i don't think we will ever fully get over it. but you were right we shouldn't have taken it out on you. it wasn't your fault she died, it wasn't anybody's fault, it was just a tragedy that happened.

when you mentioned your biological parents, we both realised that you may want to meet them someday. we don't know much about your biological mom, and we know even less about your biological father. but everything we do know we have enclosed for you. we both wish you every luck in finding them, and getting the answers you think you need to the questions you asked us, but were unable to answer.

but Brooke, just know this. you are who you are. no-one can change you, or make you become someone you're not. i only wish that we had been the ones to tell you the truth, but we didn't, and i, we, will always regret that. it was due to our lies and selfishness that we lost you. we can't fix the past, or erase it, but maybe we can change the future. maybe someday you will come back to us, but we both realise that it has to be on your terms and in your own time, not ours.

we will always love you Brooke, that will never change,

John and Rebecca

xxxx


i had tears in my eyes as i read it, never before in my life had they sounded so sincere and genuine. too bad really the cost it took for them to be honest with me and with themselves about how they had treated me, and how much they had hurt me- they had lost me. who knows maybe in the future i could have some sort of relationship with them, but right now i knew that that relationship wasn't even a possibility.

i looked in the envelope again and found the information that they had enclosed.
everything was written on one side of paper. there wasn't much there, but it was more than what i had before. if i wanted to do this, if i wanted to find my biological parents, and find out more about who i was, and where i came from, at least this would be a start.

i couldn't tell Sara yet, it was too soon. i knew she would be home soon, so i hurridly put everything back in the envelope and hid it somewhere i knew she wouldn't find it. it was unfair of me to keep her in the dark about all of this, but even i wasn't totally sure if i was ready to go out there and find her. i had to think about it. i knew Sara would be there for me and support whatever decision i made. the problem was i didn't really know which way i would go yet. i needed some time, and until i had fully decided, i wasn't going to tell Sara.

i went back to my laptop, and continued where i had left off on searching courses and colleges. i hadn't even decided whether i wanted to stay in Las Vegas or not yet. i guess it really depended on what i was going to do, and where they offered that course.

i guess that old saying is kinda true so many decisions, so little time...

well at least in my case it is........

about an hour or so later, I heard the front door open, and heard Sara walk in, trying and failing to be as quiet as possible.

i shut down my laptop and walked out of my room, closing the door behind me, and walked towards where Sara was.

the minute i saw her i knew something was wrong. or at least there was something she needed to tell me, but wasn't quite sure how.

"Sara?" i asked walking towards her, and sitting next to her on the couch

i got no response

"Sara what's wrong?" i asked again

all i got in reply was a deafening silence...................................

...

hope you guys like it. more will be posted soon

[Billyjorja]

Don't keep me in suspense!!!!!!

[Destiny062]

hey guys, sorry about the delay in getting this chapter posted. was away on holiday for a bit and then things got hectic with work and well, life lol. anyway enough of the excuses, here's the next chapter for you.

previously.........
the minute i saw her i knew something was wrong. or at least there was something that she needed to tell me, but wasn't quite sure how.

"Sara?" i asked walking towards her, and sitting next to her on the couch

i got no response

"Sara what's wrong?" i asked again

all i got in reply was a deafening silence.........................

Chapter 43.

"Sara?" i asked putting my hand on her shoulder "what's wrong? talk to me, please?"

she still didn't respond

"Sara, would you please look at me? you told me that i could talk to you if anything was bothering me. so i'm asking you to do the same. just talk to me, please. maybe i can help?"

"i'm sorry." she whispered. it was so inaudible i wasn't sure if i heard her at first.

"what?" i asked

"i'm sorry Brooke." she said a little louder.

"what are you sorry about? you haven't done anything wrong."

"i lied to you. i kept telling you to open up to me, and that you could talk to me about anything, and i would always be there for you no matter what."

"yeah, but you didn't lie. you have been there for me no matter what. even when i told you to forget about me, you didn't. you came after me. actually the whole of the crime lab came after me, but that's not the point. i pushed you away and yet you still came back. you haven't lied to me about anything Sara. if anything, i've lied to you." i told her.

she looked at me then. "what did you lie about? or rather, what haven't you told me yet?"

"i got a letter from John and Rebecca. Sara i swear i was going to tell you, i really was. but i only got it earlier today, and i wasn't going to tell you right away, mainly because i needed to process it. but that's not the point. i should've told you, but then i saw you and i guess i just forgot about it."

"what did they say? i thought they promised not to contact you unless you wanted them to."

"yeah they did. and technically the letter came via their attorney, but i guess what i said to them in that meeting got through to them coz they sent me some stuff about my biological mom. there was a note that came with it, and they seemed really sincere about it. they're not gonna try and contact me, not unless i contact them first."

"that's great Brooke, really. so i guess you wanna meet your biological mom then?"

"yeah i guess so. i mean i just wanna know why? why did she give me up? why didn't she love me enough? why wasn't i good enough? what was my father like? did he even know about me? does she ever think about me? wow, guess i have a lot of questions that i want/need answering huh?"

"so what did John and Rebecca say? in their letter?"

"not much really. i mean all they know is that her name was Claire, and that she was living in Miami whilst she was pregnant but that was it. they didn't know anything about my father. so i guess i start there. oh actually can you wait here a sec? i need to give you something?"

"sure." Sara smiled.

i got up from the couch then and ran to my room, to pick up the present of sorts for Sara. i then picked up the envelope that i had been sent from John and Rebecca and ran back to the couch and Sara.

"here" i said giving her the smaller envelope.

"Brooke what is this?" Sara asked looking inside

"it's some of the money i owe you. i know, i know, you said i didn't have to pay you back, but i wanted to. look it's only the first installment, but i will pay you everything back, i promise."

"Brooke i can't accept this."

"sure you can. it's your money, so take it." i told her

"i can't. that's money you've earnt, and i wouldn't feel right about taking it. so you keep it."

seeing the look on my face she said "Brooke i'm serious, you keep it."

"ok" i relented. "so what's going on with you? why were you so upset earlier?"

"oh it's nothing really. just Ecklie being, well... Ecklie."

"you're lying. i know you Sara remember, and it wasn't Ecklie that made you this upset. hell nothing Ecklie does or says upsets you, it just tends to piss you off. so what's really going on?"

"my mom got in touch. we've had no contact for years and now she somehow gets hold of my number, calls me and tells me she needs to see me. look, i don't know why i just said that. what do you want for dinner?"

"woah, go back to your mom contacting you. what happened between you and your mom? you've never mentioned her before, actually you've never mentioned any of your family before, so what gives? you been hiding things from me Sara?"

"yeah ok, so maybe i haven't told you the truth about me. but that's all in the past now and that's where i want to leave it. so can we just drop it please?"

"no we can't just drop it. please talk to me..."

...

hope you guys liked it. let me know if ya want more

 

[Billyjorja]

Excuses, excuses.  Good chapter.

[Destiny062]

hey everyone,

i know it's been a few months since i last updated this story, and honestly i can't believe it's been that long!! no reason i give to you will excuse the amount of time i have left you in the lurch for new chapters.

but due to the time difference it's really late here, so i can't update now. but i promise i will update tomorrow.

hope you can forgive me for not updating and posting more of the story before now, and i hope you will keep reading the story and continue to let me know what you think of it (good and bad). although i do get it if you don't want to read the story anymore or have lost interest in it.

once again i am so so so so sorry i haven't updated/posted any more chapters in a few months

Jo

[Destiny062]

ok so yesterday i promised you all a new chapter. well here it is, and once again i apologize for the long wait for it...

previously....
"woah, go back to your mom contacting you. what happened between you and your mom? you've never mentioned her before, actually you've never mentioned any of your family before, so what gives? you been hiding things from me Sara?"

"yeah ok, so maybe i haven't told you the truth about me. but that's all in the past now and that's where i want to leave it. so can we just drop it please?"

"no we can't just drop it. please talk to me..."

Chapter 44

it had been nearly two months since Sara had walked through the door, and mentioned her mom contacting her. it had been nearly two months since i asked her what happened between her and her mom. it had been nearly two months since she had asked me just to drop it, and i had said no. i eventually learnt that she really didn't want to talk about it, so i stopped asking her. i didn't want to lose somebody else just because i kept pushing her to talk about her mom which was obviously something she didn't feel ready to share with me just yet.

everyday before i had left the house for work i had let her know that i was here if she ever wanted to talk, whenever that would be. or even if she would ever want to talk to me about it. everyday she would smile at me and say that she knew that, she just didn't feel ready yet. i could respect that, and i guess a part of me understood it, after all it had been longer than this before i felt ready to talk about all my problems with her.

it wasn't a matter of her not trustig me with it, she knew she could trust me. i guess it was one of those things that she thought she had dealt with from her past, and when it had come up again she realised she wasn't ready to talk about it, and that she had never dealt with it, she just thought she had. i wondered if she had ever told anyone about her past, or what had happened between her and her mom. it seemed logical that our family knew, but i wasn't about to go behind her back and ask them. i would never betray her like that. i knew that if she wanted me to know, she would tell me in her own time and in her own way. i just had to be patient and wait for that time to come, if indeed it ever did.

i was still working at the club behind the bar, and i was really enjoying it. i was earning some money of my own instead of mooching of Sara all the time, and i had become friendly with a couple of the people i worked with. i was still paying Sara back the money i owed her, even though she still refused to accept it. so after a while i just started transfering money from my account to hers, it was the only way i could get her to accept it, she refused if i handed it to her in person. i still had quite a way to go before i would be able to pay her all the money back, but slowly i was getting there.

i hadn't gone back to school yet in the end. i kept on with my job instead. partly because i still couldn't afford college, and partly because i was learning more working behind the bar than i would ever learn in a classroom. it's kinda amazing what you hear working behind a bar, and what people will tell you because they know you won't tell anyone else. and when i say i am working behind a bar, what i really mean is cleaning it, and making sure all the fridges are stocked up, so am really more of a cleaner but i didn't care. it was a job, and it paid, and who knows, maybe in a couple of years i would be able to work behaind the bar properly (i.e. serving drinks and chatting to customers).

every night i would read and re-read the information that John and Rebecca had sent me about my biological mom, and it wasn't much i knew that. but it was more than i had had before. in my own way i was beginning to look for her, but to be honest i wasn't getting very far. i knew if i seriously wanted to find her i would have to hire a private investigator or something, but i couldn't afford one so i guess i just have to be patient until i have enough money to do so. it didn't stop me from thinking about her every night, and what she was up to now. did she look like me? did she ever think about me? why hadn't she come to look for me? did she even care about me anymore? is she married now? do i have any brothers or sisters? does she even remember me? does her new family know about me (if she has one)?

my 19th birthday was coming up, and everyone had kept asking me what i wanted to do, and what did i want? it still felt weird that people wanted to celebrate my birthday. for as long as i could remember it was just another day of the week, it was never anything special, certainly nothing to be celebrated. but it was different now. i was different now. i had a family that truly cared about me, and wanted to celebrate with me.

i was re-reading the little bit of information i had about my biological mom, when there was a knock on the door.

"come in"

"hey Brooke"

"hey Sara. erm i thought your shift didn't finish for a few hours yet."

"i clocked out early, said i wasn't feeling well"

"oh are you ok? do you want me to get you anything? i could make you something to eat if you're not up to it"

"Brooke, i'm fine honestly. i'm not sick, i just couldn't concentrate at work and so thought i'd come home. can i sit down?"

"yeah course you can. this is still your place Sara."

she moved over to the bed i was sitting on, and sat beside me.

"Sara are you sure you're ok?" i asked

"Brooke we need to talk"

"ok sure. Sara what's wrong? have i done something to upset you?"

she just stayed silent

"Sara, you're scaring me, what's wrong? what do you need to talk to me about? ..... oh God, it's not Lindsey or anyone is it? are they ok?"

"no they're all ok, it's nothing like that."

"thank God. so what is it? ..... Sara?"

"ok i don't know how you feel about this, but i have to ask you something and i don't know how you're going to react"

"ok, now you really are scaring me. what is it?"

"well ................."


...

i know i know. first update in months and i leave it on a cliffhanger. next update will be up soon, so let me know what you think, and if you want me to continue

 

[Destiny062]

Chapter 45

"well..............."

"Sara has this got anything to do with your mom?"

"NO! i'm still not ready to tell you about her yet, or my past. i know that's unfair, but i just can't yet. i hope you can understand that?"

"of course i can. it was longer than this before i knew that i could trust you enough to tell you about John and Rebecca, and know that you wouldn't say anything. and i almost didn't tell you then. but i'm glad i did, you saved me. whenever you're ready to tell me i'll be here to listen. so if it's not about your mom, what is it?"

"i really don't know how to tell you this ...."

"ok but is it good news or bad news?"

"i guess it's kinda both, you see Gil's kinda, sorta asked me to move in with him"

"WHAT?! Sara that's great news, isn't it? so what did you say?"

"i said i'd have to talk to you about it. that's why i couldn't concentrate at work. i had to know what you thought about this"

"Sara, why would you need to know what i thought about it? it's got nothing to do with me. is that what he asked you last night when you guys went out?"

"Brooke are you kidding me? of course it has something to do with you. you're part of this too, whatever decision i make it's going to affect you. but if you must know yes he asked me last night."

"Sara listen to me. you love Grissom right? i know you do, and i also know that he loves you. and i also know that since i came into your life and especially since i came to live with you after a got out of hopsital you guys haven't been able to spend much time together because of all the stuff that's been going on with me. but i'm ok now. and i know you want to live with him so you just have to tell him that"

"but what about you?"

"what about me? listen i figure you'll probably move into his place, so you'll sell this place. but don't worry i've got some money saved up so i can rent my own place. just let me know when you're moving and i'll have something organised by then. seriously Sara i'm happy for you, and for Grissom. don't worry about me."

"Brooke. you're not moving out, i thought you liked it here?"

"Sara i love living here, and i love living with you, i really do. but we both knew that i wouldn't be living with you forever. it's time for me to move on and get my own place."

"Brooke, what makes you think that i would move into Gil's place?"

"well because he asked you to move in with him, andi know you want to. before i came here you told me you practically lived at his place anyway. so really if you think about it, me moving here just delayed the inevitable. we both know that the reason why you guys didn't move in together sooner was because i was here, and you wanted to take care of me. but you don't have to do that anymore. i can take care of myself, and you can get on with your life, just like you're meant to"

"Brooke this is your home now. i would never ask you to leave it."

"yeah and you're not asking me to leave, i'm telling you i am so you can live with Grissom."

"Brooke, you're not going anywhere ok. this is your home now, and it has been ever since you came here, and it always will be. listen i just need to call Gil, but can you wait here. i think we need to talk some more."

"yeah sure ok"

Sara left my bedroom already calling Grissom. i looked at the piece of paper which held information on my biological mom and read it again.

......................

in Sara's bedroom...

"hey Gil it's me."

"hey are you feeling ok? Greg said you'd gone home early as you didn't feel well. is there anything i can get you?"

"Gil, i'm fine. Brooke's taking good care of me. listen i need to talk to you about what you asked me last night, you know about me moving in with you."

"yes i remember. you said you needed to talk to Brooke about it before you gave me an answer. so have you talked to her?"

"yeah i did, and to be honest i think something's going on with her that's she's not telling me for some reason. could you come over later, and we'll talk about everything. i just need to spend some time with Brooke right now."

"yeah sure. i'll bring some take-out over and we can talk then ok. but Sara if you're not ready i understand, just don't lie to me ok"

"i just need to spend some time with Brooke Gil, so i won't be coming back in. it's not that i'm not ready, it's just kinda complicated. i'll explain when i see you tonight ok. i love you."

"i love you too Sara, bye"

"bye"

.......................

i was still looking over everything, and listening to my iPod when Sara walked back in.

"hey sweetie, so are you gonna tell me what's going on with you?"

"nothing's going on with me. i'm fine. so did you tell Grissom that you're moving in with him?"

"i told him that i wasn't coming back to work and that i needed to spend some time with you right now. he's coming over later tonight and we're gonna talk then."

"but you are moving in with him right?"

"honey what's wrong? are you trying to get rid of me?"

"no Sara of course not, i love living with you, you know that. i just don't want you to make the wrong decision and then regret it later on and resent me for it. i couldn't bare it if i lost you or Grissom or any of you. you're my family now and i don't want you to hate me someday because you didn't move in with Grissom when he asked you to."

"is that what you're worried about? Brooke i could never hate you, and you'll never lose me or Grissom or the rest of them. you're always going to be a part of our family, and nothing will ever change that." Sara told me giving me a hug.

i smiled and hugged her back, not realising that a tear had started running down my cheek.

"now what's going on Brooke? you've been reading that piece of paper every night ever since you got it. do you want to find your mom? because if you do, i'll help in any way i can you know that. and i'll support any decision you make."

"i know you will. and i guess i do want to find her, if only to get some answers from her. i just don't know how, and it's not like i can hire a private investigator to find her for me, i don't have that sort of money. and i can't ask you to pay for it, you've done more than enough for me already."

"true, but i honestly don't mind helping you out. listen you have connections to LVPD and if Miami was the last place she was known to live, we can ask them to help as well. we've got some connections to the crime lab there, and i'm sure they'd be happy to help."

"are you sure?"

"of course i am. i wouldn't have asked/offered if i wasn't. listen we'll ring Jim tomorrow, and we'll go from there ok. but for now, how about we go and stick a dvd in or something and have a lazy couple of hours until Grissom gets here. that sound good?"

"sounds great, thanks Sara. for everything." i said smiling at her and giving her another hug.

...

hope you liked it, let me know if you want more

 

[Destiny062]

Chapter 46

a few hours and two DVDs later there was a soft knock on the door, and Sara rose off the couch to answer it, already knowing who it would be.

"hey Sara, i brought take-out as promised. are you ok?"

"Gil i'm fine. Brooke and i just finished watching a dvd, come on in and make yourself at home."

"hello Brooke, how are you?"

"hey Grissom, i'm ok thanks. how's things at the lab?"

"they're ok. Ecklie seems to be coming round more and more often these days which is slightly annoying. how's it going at the bar?"

"it's ok i guess. gives me some extra money so can't complain."

"good. have you thought any more about going back to school?"

"yeah, i've decided that for now at least i'm just gonna keep working. i can't afford it at the moment anyway. and before you ask, no i am not going to ask Sara for any more money, she's already done more than enough for me. so i hear you asked her to move in with you? that's great."

"yeah, but i think i may have pushed her too hard. she said she wanted to talk about it, which is why she asked me over."

"yeah i know. she sorta told me already. look if you want some privacy i understand, and i'll leave you guys to talk. i'll just go up to my room."

"it's ok Brooke. i think she wants you to be a part of this, i mean you already are, but..."

"i know what you mean Griss. look i'm with her moving in with you. i know you love her and she loves you so much, really i think it's a good idea. it's just i think she's just worried about me that's all. we all know that if it hadn't have been for me you and Sara would already be living together. i sorta got in the way at the wrong time. but i've told Sara that i'm ok with it and if she decides to sell this place just let me know in plenty of time so that i can find a place of my own to rent."

"you know for an eighteen year old, you're very knowing."

"well first off i'm nearly nineteen and when all you've known is being taken for granted and being invisible and had no-one in your life that cares about you, you kinda grow up pretty quick. if you have no-one to look after you and tell you things, you kind of have to look out for yourself and figure things out on your own. listen i know that you guys are my family now, nothing's ever gonna change that i know that. but we all knew that i wouldn't be living with Sara forever, and that i'd get my own place sooner or later, and that time is now. Sara deserves her life back, and by moving in with you she'll be getting it back."

"you don't honestly think that do you? that by moving in with me she'll be getting her life back? she's always had her life, you were and are a big part of it. Sara loves you Brooke, and she just wants to protect you from everything, especially after what you've gone through."

"yeah i know, but i don't need her to protect me anymore. i can look after myself. it's what i've always done. but it has been good living with someone who actually cares about me, and who i care about as opposed to just being invisible and resented for being alive."

after eavesdropping a little on Grissom and Brooke's conversation, Sara moved away and brought all the food back into the living room.

"here you go. dinner is served"

"great i'm starving!"

"now you're beginning to sound like Greg"

"what can i say? i guess he's rubbing off on me" i said smiling

after dinner i took everything back into the kitchen and washed up and cleared everything away as slowly as i could so that Sara and Grissom could talk in private.

"Brooke what's taking you so long?"

"i'm just clearing up in here that's all. thought i'd let you guys talk in private."

"Brooke just leave it, come on we all need to talk about me and Grissom living together."

"look i've got nothing to talk about, i've told you both that i'm fine with it. and i love you guys i really do, but i don't want to sit there while you guys make out and make puppy eyes at each other or whatever."

"Brooke Tyler!! i can't believe you just said that." Sara said tryng not to giggle "come on, i know you said you were fine with it, but we still all need to talk about it. just leave that stuff we'll tidy it up later, but right now we need to talk."

"ok fine, but if you even start anything i'm leaving you guys on your own got it?"

"got it." Sara said leading me back into the living room.

...

ok so there's another chapter for you all. hope you like it. let me know what you think (good and bad)